Over the past couple of years, I have been thinking more and more about the changes that will occur in my life when Spencer begins Kindergarten next fall. (In Virginia, Kindergarten runs all day. It will be a big adjustment for both of us.) A possible upcoming change includes the opportunity to go back to work. In conversations with Mark, and in my personal thoughts and prayers, I have continually had the feeling that I should continue to stay at home, even though both of our kids will be in school full-time. Guilt has ensued since making this decision. (The power of Satan at work, for sure.) No guilt has come from Mark, of course. He has always left the decision completely up to me, letting me know he will support me in any decision I make, and he has always been a huge supporter and cheerleader of stay-at-home moms. The guilt has come from the world around me . . . Guilt that I shouldn't even let enter my mind or heart, but it does every once in while, like when I am walking around Target at 6:00 at night, and I am the only woman dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, while every other woman seems to be dressed in a designer suit and cute heals. Now, I must say that I am not the stay-at-home mom that has let herself go. I think I dress nicely, and that I'm a pretty cute mom, but I am definitely not as spruced up as most of the other women around me. This doesn't produce a lot of guilt I guess. Mostly envy. (Darn you Satan.) The guilt comes more from the moments when other women ask me what I do for a living, and when I answer that I am a stay-at-home mom, they say, "Oh. That's nice." But I can tell from their tone, they don't think it's that nice at all. On Tuesday, as I was sitting in a chair getting my hair cut, the hair-dresser asked what I did for a living. When I gave her my answer, she said, and I am not kidding at all, "Oh. I couldn't stay at home with my 2 year old daughter. I just don't like soap operas or watching television that much." I wish I was kidding, but I am not, and she was dead serious. She was not joking at all. I was in shock! Did she really just say something that is not only completely ridiculous, but so rude?! I calmly replied, "Luckily that is not a requirement." Now, enough about guilt. All of you stay-at-home moms out their know exactly what I am talking about, so I don't need to write more. The real reason I wanted to write this post today was because I just finished reading, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It was such a wonderful book. I highly recommend it for all women, not just stay-at-home moms, but soon-to-be moms, and even working moms. It is a touching book that makes you feel so good to be a mom.
I am so proud to be a stay-at-home mom. I truly believe there is no where else in the entire world I am needed more than in my own home. And next year, when I have two sweet children in school, I am so glad I will still be home for them. I am so glad I will be able to volunteer more in their classrooms. I am so glad I will be able to rush right over to their school when it calls saying one of them is sick and needs to be picked up. I am so glad I will be right there when they walk in the door after a long day at school, to tell me about what has happened that day, the good and the bad. And I am so glad I will be able to continue to work hard at home, creating a warm and happy environment, not only for Taylor and Spencer to come home to, but for Mark to come home to after a long day at work. I truly believe there is no other place I should be, and I believe my Heavenly Father agrees.
I often hear how lucky I am to be a stay-home-mom, usually from working moms within the church. I agree. I am lucky, but I always want to add that I didn't win the stay-at-home mom lottery. I don't have a husband bringing home the big, big bucks, so I can easily stay home while he supports us. Being a stay-at-home mom was a choice . . . A choice that has required sacrifice. We didn't buy our first home until we had been married 10 years! We are still paying off student loans! We drive a Kia and an old truck! We live a simple lifestyle that requires a lot of budgeting and creativity. It hasn't been easy, but it has been totally worth it. And all of those sacrifices . . . My kids have never once felt them. They don't want "things." They only want me and Mark, and I am so grateful we have given them that. I am grateful to not have only given them quality time with us, but a large quantity of time. If I hadn't of had the quantity of time I have had with them, I don't believe I would have experienced everything I have. Some of the absolute best moments happen during the most mundane activities. Truly!
Taylor and Spencer - I am so grateful to be your mom. I never, ever want to be anywhere else but at home with you guys, watching you learn and grow, and being a part of it all. You are both going to be amazing adults, and I hope you will always know how much I have always loved you and always will.
Mark - Thank you so much for always supporting me. You are an amazing provider. I am so grateful to you for allowing me to never feel guilty for staying home to raise our family and create a loving home for us all. I love you.
Lastly, Mom - Thank you for being a stay-at-home mom. I knew from a pretty young age that that is what I wanted to be too, and I know that is a testament to your hard work and love you provided as my stay-at-home mom. You set an amazing example for me to follow and I am so grateful.
Friday, September 25, 2009
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10 comments:
Jamie,
This post seriously brought tears to my eyes. The way you expressed yourself was so beautiful and exact. You are so blessed to have such a wonderful family and I am so proud of you and your decision to stay home and provide in those ways for your family. Not only has mom been an example to me, but you have. It may seem like your the least dressy/classy mom but from my eyes, your such a great example to your children and such a great sister and friend, which is so much more important. I love you!
I loved reading this post because I have felt the exact same way, when your dad was at KVEW I had to attend a lot of social events with so called important people and was asked what I did and when I replied I'm a stay at home mom I was looked at as nothing and even once had a women turn her head and not say another word all night to me. What I have learned over the years is they wish they had the opportunity to stay home and raise their children. I am very glad that I choose to stay home, and when everyone was in school the job I took allowed me to be home when my children were home. I would have hated to miss any part of you all growing up. Being a stay at home mom is a lot of work but the rewards are great. I love you are I think you are a great wife and mother
Jamie, you're just the best. I too am grateful to be a stay-at-home mom. I can't even imagine having to go back to work and leaving the care of my children to someone else. The sacrifices you have made to be home with your children are probably the best sacrifices that you've ever made. And your best investment is that time spent with your children. You are such an example to me in all that you do. I love you :)
I love this post. I too want to continue to be a stay at home mom after my kids are all in school and I'm planning to read that book. I'll let you know what I think. Thank you for being such a great example to me. You are so awesome. I love how positive you always are. I'm glad I have friends like you.
Wonderfully put. I can't believe that hair dresser lady said that to you, but I loved your comment back. It is wonderful that we've been counseled to stay home with our children and when it's hard and the thought comes of how nice it might be to have a job for a moment, I also think right away how miserable I would be away from them with someone else teaching them and being with them. I'm so thankful for living Prophet's who are able to council us as to what the Lord would have us do. Thanks for this post. It's nice to remember how wonderful it is to stay home with the kiddies.
Jamie, This was an AWESOME post!!! I too feel truly blessed to be home with my kids and they are not little! People always look at me weird when I say I'm a stay at home mom and my kids are 15, 14, and almost 8. I am the ONLY mom who has been at every one of HD's soccer games, the only mom who can take kids to an extra soccer practice at 3:30 on a day off from school etc. It is sad that that is the case. I wouldn't miss these moments with my kids for any amount of money. Kids grow up way too fast and I'm so glad I have been here for it all. There will be lots of time to work when they are grown up and gone. You are a great mom Jamie!!!!
Cool post Jamie!
I too can't believe what that lady said to you at the hair place. As if gossiping all day with random people was any better than watching TV :) j/k, thought I'd throw a sterotype back at her! Craziness.
I think it's cool you're going to keep staying home. It's now you'll have even more time to do things like painting, decorating, scrapbooking, reading, etc., and all of those things - when we take time to develop our minds and talents - will make you even more of the mom you are and like to be. There will be even more of you to share with Taylor and Spencer when they come home. So cool.
I remember my mom worked part time when we got to be in school. But that meant she was till working in the summers, when we were home. I was old enough to watch my brothers for a few hours, but I remember thinking, "That's my mom. She's supposed to be home. With us." And home just wasn't home, and I couldn't figure out why she wanted to be out doing real estate flyers instead of being home with us. I realize that was probably a bit harsh, but still - it's cool that when your kids are home on their days off or early release or there's a dress rehearsal at school or whatever, you'll be there. It's cool to think about your "mom" job not ending when they're in school, but just taking a different shape.
So cool, Jamie!
That is crazy
I don't think you should feel guilty one bit. You are giving your children a wonderful gift that some of us working women can't. I don't have any children yet but I'm sure once I have one I'll have to continue to work since we have a mortgage. You are seriously a wonderful person and I'm sure an awesome mom. You are very lucky! I hope you know that you are blessed to be a stay at home mom. You are amazing! You could also try starting a small business in your home. There are a lot of stay at home moms who have a blog and sell crafts or whatever they come up with. I'm sure you will find something or may not but know that you are wonderful.
Good for you Jamie! I loved your come back to your hairdresser. I agree sometimes it's hard to defend what you are choosing to do to others that just don't understand. I'll have to read that book, thanks for the recommendation. Now that Morgan's in full day kindergarten I'm in the same boat you'll be in next year. I love helping in the girls' classrooms, being able to get errands done before kids come home, working on my home so that things are orderly and fresh treats are awaiting them, I'm taking an institute class and still keeping plenty busy. It's so worth it!!! Thanks for your post, you're an inspiration to us all!
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